REBUILDING THE WHOLE
JOINING THE DOTS AFTER DOMESTIC VIOLENCEEmpowering
Raising Self-awareness * Healthy Personal Boundaries * Self-Belief
Inspiring
Positive Thoughts * Positive Beliefs and Attitudes * Reduce Post-Traumatic Stress
Transforming
Take Responsibility for Feelings & Behaviour * Emotional Self-Regulation * Relinquish Control
Onwards
Brand New Outlook * Self-control * Resilient
Relationships
THE TIME TO ACT IS NOW!
ONLINE TRAUMA-INFORMED THERAPY IS AVAILABLE RIGHT HERE.
Helping people to succeed with personalised counselling
* Reduce social isolation of victims
* Reduce social exclusion
* Social acceptance normalises abuse and violence
* Lower expectations of self
* Reduce impact on victim mental health
* Reduce wider impact of abuse in the workplace
* Raising personal expectations in employment
* improve parenting
* Build healthy communities
Wider Implications of Domestic Violence
Domestic Violence impacts mental health
Domestic violence impacts relationships
Types of Domestic Violence
Domestic violence is an issue for the medical profession
Domestic violence is usually in the family
Domestic violence is a violation of human rights
Clearing up some ambiguities in the language
Domestic abuse is more than physical violence. It includes repeated patterns of abusive behaviour to maintain power and control in a relationship.
What is Domestic Abuse?
Domestic Violence or Domestic Abuse?
Gender specific or gender neutral?
Victim or survivor?
SEXUAL ABUSE IS A FORM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE
The severity of the impact of violence and abuse may be greater depending on factors such as
What happened?
Who did it?
Was it someone they previously trusted?
How long and many times did they do it?
Was the violence/abuse repeatedly perpetrated and/or suffered for long periods of time?
Did the victim tell anyone?
Were they believed?
Were they blamed?
Were they protected?
Were the police involved?
All victims/survivors will suffer to some degree, and all victims/survivors deserve safety, help and support.
SEXUAL ABUSE IS A FORM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE
SEXUAL ABUSE WITHIN THE CONTEXT OF DOMESTIC ABUSE
SEXUAL ABUSE - A COMPLEX FORM OF DOMESTIC ABUSE
SEXUAL ABUSE WITHIN THE FAMILY
MOST SEXUAL ABUSERS ARE FAMILIAR
SEXUAL ABUSE IS A CRIME
UNDERSTANDING TYPES OF ABUSE
Physical injuries can be very severe, even fatal. Don’t forget that 3 women a week are murdered by a partner or ex-partner. The most common ways women are murdered are by being strangled or being stabbed.
Psychological and emotional abuse
- Calling partner names e,g, fat, ugly, stupid, mad, junkie
- Humiliating a partner
- Convincing a partner they are mad
- Constantly denigrating, questioning or interrogating partner
- Making a partner feel guilty
- Undermining partner’s confidence
- Threatening suicide
- Threats to hurt a partner, children, family, friends, pets
- Threats to have partner sectioned, report to the police or social services, particularly if the victim has substance use or mental health problems
- Threats to report someone’s immigration status to the authorities
- Threats that no one will believe them if they report the abuse
- Threats of showing pornographic images of the victim to service providers, family, friends.
Financial abuse
- Preventing partner from getting a job
- Harassing a partner at work
- Denying a partner access to money
- Stealing a partner’s or children’s money
- Gambling in a way that threatens a family’s standard of living
- Conducting surveillance of a partner’s expenditure and activities
- Making major financial decisions alone
- Running up debts
- Withholding money in order to enforce a course of action, dictating expenditure
- Destroying their possessions
Coercive control
- Locking partner in house of another place
- Denying access to car or any transport
- Preventing partner from receiving mail or using the telephone
- Controlling who partner sees/ what partner does
- Humiliating partner in front of friends, family or in public
- Preventing partner from learning a language (particularly English)
- Using immigration status to control partner
- Timing a partner so that there is no opportunity to talk to others
- A constant presence at appointments with services
- Involving partner in criminal activity to ensure fear and secrecy
- Making obstacles between someone and their friends and family
- Making someone keep secrets from friends and family
- Making partners believe that the abuse is their fault, that they provoked it, they like it or else they wouldn’t put up with it, it is for their benefit or in their interests, it’s because of love, it is normal.
- Making partners believe they are worse than previous partners or other men/women or that they have no worth and no one else wants them
- Preventing someone from getting treatment for injuries and infections
- Keeping someone awake regularly
- Multiple pregnancies/miscarriages
- Over or under medication of prescription drugs
- Demanding unreachably high standards in activities or tasks
- Withholding food, ensuring constant undernourishment
- Making a partner entirely responsible for managing daily life – looking after children, house, managing on no money
- Removing/destroying any aids they may need in relation to disabilities
- Causing someone to live in constant fear
- Making someone repeat mundane chores or rituals over and over again
- Making someone do things in particular, specific ways
- Making someone dress in particular, specific ways
- Demanding everything at specific and exact times e.g. meals, sex
- Making someone clean things repeatedly
- Insisting things are kept in particular, exact places
- Insisting on particular standards around childcare and children’s behaviour
Physical abuse
- Murder
- Causing someone to miscarry
- Pinching
- Punching
- Kicking
- Biting
- Pulling hair
- Smothering
- Drowning
- Stabbing
- Burning
- Starving
- Withholding medication
- Throwing objects
Sexual Abuse
- Rape
- Sexual Assault
- Criticising sexual performance
- Withholding sex or affection
- Threatening to abuse the children
- Imposing a ‘dress code’ either imposing sexualised clothing or clothing deemed to be modest
- Constant accusations of having an affair
- Making someone watch or engage in pornography
- Pimping someone out i.e. forcing them to have sex with other people in exchange for money, drugs, etc
- The use of technology to get the victim to post sexual images of themselves
- Refusing to use or allow contraception which results in sexually transmitted infections and/or unwanted pregnancies
- Forcing partner to have an abortion
Demystifying some myths about Domestic Abuse
Domestic violence manifests in societies where there is an unequal power imbalance between men and women in a relationship.
Domestic violence is caused by alcohol and other drug use.
How often does domestic violence happen?
Statistics based on Crime Survey for England and Wales 2016
Domestic violence can leave the victim with very low self-esteem.
Victims of abuse tend to go from one abusive relationship to another.
Men are perpetrators, Women are the victims of domestic abuse.
A few more notable facts that indicate a high degree of control
- 85% of violent men are not abusive to anyone but their female partner
- Most abusive behaviour takes place only in private
- Abusers injure only those parts of the body that are usually covered by clothing.
- If negative consequences follow the use of violence (e.g. arrest), the reoffending rate falls.
THE PSYCHOLOGICAL AND EMOTIONAL IMPACT OF ABUSE
Post-traumatic stress disorder is a mental health condition caused by a traumatic experience. Symptoms of post-traumatic stress disorder include flashbacks, nightmares, feeling very anxious and difficulty sleeping.
It is very important that survivors of domestic violence are offered support to help them deal with the common and natural responses to the abuse they have experienced, to enable them to recover from the psychological distress.
Psychological and emotional abuse
Sexual Abuse, Domestic Violence and PTSD
Other Mental Health Disorders
Self Harm
Toxic Emotions
Suicide
Social Isolation
Emotional Disturbance
Homelessness
Interruptions to Education and Work
Addiction
COERCIVE CONTROL AND CONTROLLING BEHAVIOUR
Coercive Behaviour
Controlling Behaviour
